I haven't slept with him. And I can't make up my mind as to whether or not I should. On the one hand, he is my boyfriend and it is perfectly within the bounds of conventional social practices to have such relations with one's significant other. On the other hand, adding a physical element to our relationship can only make our impending separation that much more difficult.
Surprisingly enough, he is more romantic than I have proved myself capable of thus far. And although I am immensely attracted to him, a part of me wants to just cherish what this past week has been to me and leave it at that. Alas! My inner romantic finally rears its rose-laden visage. Clear across the planet long distance is not what I had expected to get myself into this year. And as a particular concerned friend was kind enough to gently remind me, overseas stress is hardly conducive to my own well being.
Control is always something I've had difficulty parting with. But all I know now is how I feel at this moment. For the time being, I'm happy. Whether we come out of this week as friends or as lovers, I will be glad. We're planning my winter Eurotrip, where we intend to travel and visit the friends who brought us together. He plans on coming back to California eventually. I have a whole lifetime to figure all of this ish out. What we have now may be short-lived, but who is to say what the future may bring?
My cynical days are numbered. While I'd be willing to bet that I'll always have that biting sarcasm and a darker sense of humor than most, my outlook has made a 180. I'm hopeful.
Cheers to that.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment