My Heart to Hearts

The past week or so has been filled with many glasses of whiskey on the rocks. Very many. If I had to guess, I'd neighborhood it right around 20.

But other than that, I've had quite a few hefty conversations. We're talkin HEFTY. Many of those were of a personal nature... and let's just leave it at "things are so damn complicated now..."

But one--the one I had last night after my voice lesson with Enrique--has utterly flipped my world on its head. He's putting me in every competition in the area. He's telling me to fly to New York and study with his old teacher at Julliard. He's telling me I need to compete on the national stage next year. Of all the grad schools I had been looking at (CU Boulder, USC, FSU, etc) he thinks I should pick one as a fallback. While it's true that I've made huge strides in the past few months, Enrique sees something in me that I didn't know was there. I've always known that I'm an excellent musician, but as far as singing goes, I've always felt behind. But now he's telling me I need to go for the big conservatories--that Julliard would be lucky to have me. And it's all... so unreal. Half of our conversation was him telling me all this and me staring blankly back at him with my mouth hanging open.

I have so much to think about. This changes everything. This changes the plans I had in my head for the past year or so. This changes my goals for the following year. This changes my expectations for myself. This changes my aspirations. My hopes and dreams have rocketed skyward. Oh. And I want it. I want it baddddd.