I don't really know what to say. Part of me has been expecting it, but for some reason I'm still shocked that I actually let myself fall so hard.
I did badly this quarter. Really badly.
And I hate myself for it. Academics was the one thing I had going for me and I blew it. I'm so mad at myself right now. I don't think I've ever hated so many things/people so intensely all at once. Ditching disasters stemming from such and such a situation, which grew out of some other kind of person/thing, which started with some other problem, all of which is rooted in my own failure to shrug that shit off and stay focused on what I'm at UCSD to ultimately accomplish.
Let's just leave it at "my parents are severely disappointed." I don't even know how I managed to tell them. I didn't even want to tell them why I did so poorly. It's a ridiculous explanation, even in my own head. Straight up I didn't go to class. It only dropped me one letter grade in upper div. In lower div? Holy mother of...
I don't really know what to do with myself. I effed up big time. I just want to curl up and sleep for a really long time.
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1 comment:
Hey Jen, Don't be too hard on yourself :( I know what it's like to get bad grades and my mom has hated on me too... but you will pull yourself out of this. You'll just blow off the bitchy people and their snide comments and you'll take more time with school next quarter. I KNOW you will because you are strong and smart girl.
There's no need in dwelling on the past because you can't change anything. You CAN learn from it though, and kick all your classes in the butt from now on :) love you!!! SMILE!! :)
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