Firstly, I should congratulate myself on making more progress on this piece today than I have in the past month. Secondly, I should acknowledge that I cannot expect myself to be able to perform at unrealistic standards.
And now that I have addressed both caveats, I can proceed to pronounce my displeasure with my performance of this troublesome little aria. Parts of it lack clarity, which is a direct result of my (lack of) breath control in my lower middle register. Other parts are so clear I almost wish I could shove a sock down my throat as to dampen those piercing high Bs. I also need to sing softer without sacrificing tone quality on some higher notes. It's a huge mess of things I wish I could fix.
It's a special kind of frustrating. I know exactly how I want to sing it. I know it down to every articulation, dynamic, and tempo. It's all in my head. I can hear exactly how I want to perform it...
Now if I only I could just fucking do it!
OK. That's not fair. I can do it. I can do it all. I've perfected individual 8-bar phrases. It's a matter of being able to string it all together. I don't understand why the latter has to be so difficult!!! Giving it another go tomorrow.
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