My Mechanics & Impending Meltdown

I'm not going to a lecture on scientific notation and the Systéme International d'Unités. I have better things to do with my time.

I am going to say that I'm really glad none of my classes have mandatory attendance aside from lab. So there's no guilt trip for sleeping through calculus. And I can learn at my own pace. By myself. With no participation-docking. Score!

Mechanics was my favorite school thing ever back in high school. Ugh I'm so weird.

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Rehearsal today. It's going to be the first runthrough of "Hurt," the newest addition to our ICCA set. I'm happy with the arrangement, and I'm happy with the soloist. I'm not even going to bother listing what I'm not happy with, because that could be a whole other post by itself.

Truth is, I don't know what to do about a cappella. I don't know how it fits into the two options I've narrowed my path to. Come the end of March, I will have either been accepted to or rejected from the San Francisco Conservatory of Music. I turned down the Conservatory two years ago. The time has come for me to reconsider that decision. Bottom line is, these next ten weeks could be my last at UCSD. If I do move to San Francisco, these next ten weeks could also be my last with the Tritones.

For the sake of simplicity, I'll assume that I continue at UCSD. Even if I do decide to stay on a biochemistry track, I don't think I can stick around UCSD a cappella for another year. As discouraging as that may be to Rina and any hope she may have harbored for next year's team, I can't keep doing this for her. She will have graduated, and I will have moved on. It makes me so sad to think that after all the years of dreaming, longing, and pre-audition jittering, I've allowed this experience to bring down a near-decade-old ambition. Epic fail on my part.

So I have to make the most of it. I have until May to decide. Maybe the next ten weeks will turn everything around. I'm kind of hoping it will. I don't know if it's just me being me, but I feel like a coward for even thinking about dropping out of college.